A New Perspective…On Life

ISO 250 f/2.2 ss 1/125 shot with 50mm

Feeling.

Yes, lots of feeling right now.

This picture is the last shot I took a couple days ago. I loved it the minute I took it. I could feel it when I snapped the shutter. A fresh new perspective. Down on the floor, rolling around, laughing and playing with Scott. Seeing what  life from his view is like.

New discoveries. Uncluttered. Unencumbered with deadlines and busyness. No calendar to check. No where to be, but here. The simple life. Just being you. Dirty feet from hard play and the gentle ease of being free to roam wherever these little feet could take you.

Now, the feelings I get when I look at this picture are far more intense than I had expected when I took it. My goal was to feel more…and that I am. Four hours after these sweet little feet landed upon this picture, Scott had a seizure. The first of many that would continue for the next two hours. These feet that once were strong and playful, totting happily across my kitchen floor, squirming with each tickle….These same feet now struggle to find their footing. Struggle to relax. Struggle to have the strength enough to move where he wants them to. Struggle to be free.

With all the unanswered questions, the disbelief, the hope that I will just wake up from this nightmare- feeling is about all I can do. Feeling like I wish he would just be better, feeling that I wish I could make his pain go away, feeling like I want him to just run and play again, feeling like I need to be strong.

Yes, feeling.

And knowing that there is One that has felt. He felt every pain poor Scott is now having to feel, and He is the one that can give us strength when we need it.

My journey to feel has begun. Though different than I had planned, I am feeling these pictures with new eyes, and a new perspective on life.